Men, Women and Public Transport
Last night after covering two music concerts for Rockand Raga , (one at the Unwind Center in Adyar and a Jazz concert at the Gandhi Nagar Club) on my way back Sathya and me decided to take the bus back home. So waited for a while to catch 29C in Adyar.(This is one of the oldest and probably the longest route in Chennai. Starts from Beasant Nagar and ends at Aynavaram.)
So in the meanwhile we entertained ourselves by stopping autorickshaws and asking them how much they’ll charge for a trip to Kilpauk. They quoted anywhere in the range of 180-200Rupees. And when I refused to go for the ride they wanted to take me for. They would ask me to quote my price. and I’d quote in the range of 50-70 Rupees. Yeah it is a game I often play with auto fellows and I love seeing that pissed off look on their face.
So finally the bus got there and I had to stop playing games with the Autorickshaw guys and got in with Sathyanarain( Yeah the same guy who has decided to moderate the comments on his blogpost) and while there were hardly any women and the entire bus was filled with men. Narain and I were totally tired and there was this lady occupying a seat. The seat next to her was empty and there were so many men standing. I asked Narain to occupy that seat and he was like “Don’t know how she will react?”
Yeah and I have seen women give all kinds of reaction. Most of them get aggressive and ask the men folk to move away from what is rightfully theirs. I have seen some of them shove school children out of the ladies seat. But let me tell you my story.
I was sitting in a bus in the last row because other places were filled with people. (Last row is for ladies in most buses in Chennai) I was the only one in the last row no one else. At one of the stops a lady climbs in and comes to where I am sitting.
Lady: Please get up I want to sit here.
Me : Well, the entire row is empty and you can sit anyplace.
Lady : No I wanna sit here.
Me Ok if you want to. ( So I move to another place in the same row)
Lady : No this is a Ladies only seat so please get up. Men should not sit here.
Me : Oh alright. Fair enough. Thanks for telling me. I am really dumb you know
(I was really angry by now. I still got up not wanting to fight with the lady and was moving away)
Lady (In a loud Voice) : Men are such Bastards.
Me turns around walks upto her gets really up and close and demanded an apology. While she refused to apologize, I gave her what she did not expect, a toffee. She was completely embarrassed and got down at the next bus stop. Infact everyone was shocked. They expected something serious to happen. But I just wanted the world to know that women can behave like that too. She took the heat, not me. I hope and wish and pray that such abusive women are shown the right path.
What would you have done in a situation like this men and women?Please leave your comments.
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wow! I am extra careful when I get on a bus…especially a crowded one. I have to make sure i get the physics right, calculate the momenutm of the bus, the retardation when it comes to a sudden halt, I factor the tilt when the bus swerves around a bend, all to make sure I do not by any chance bump into a women passenger. The cold stares you get, and the comments are a piss-off. If have better things to do than place my hands on things I do not not desire. And occupying a ladies seat? I don’t understand what the fuss is about especially on an empty one. What’s the deal!
@Narain Dude I wish I had a clue about what makes Chennai women so special that we have to think twice before occupying the seat next to them. It is not the same in Delhi. Women actually adjust and sit wherever there is place.
Yeah as you said it is really complicated.It is as if men have just one aim in life. We men have more than that on our minds. Especially in crowded buses.
I so agree with you on this. I am a lady, all right but in this regard I am totally with you. Firstly this whole 50% of seats being reserved for ladies is rubbish. While the ladies can conviniently sit on the general category seat the opposite is made such a big deal of. Ridiculous! Another very unique Chennai concept this. As far as public transport is concerned it should be a case of first come first serve. But you did a fantastic thing by giving her a toffee. Hopefully she will think twice before she does something like this the next time
“Gave her a toffee!” Wow! I would have cursed her back, but your reaction was splendid! I was warned by people to avoid the ladies’ reserved seat well before I came to Chennai. I prefer standing compared to sneers and cruel eyes from women.
And in Mumbai too, women are pretty cool about sharing space with men in the bus. If you’re standing, they even take your bag to make you comfortable. Actually, this reminds me of one incident in a bus.
Wrote about it here – http://sudhamshu.blogspot.com/2005/09/master-or-slave.html.
I sleep in buses even when I’m standing! Once in a queue (yes! Mumbai has queues everywhere!) I saw a really cute girl & wished she sat next to me. I got in the bus, took the window seat & dozed off. When I woke up, I found my bus stop was long gone, but right next to me was sitting that girl!!! I wish I was an insomniac!
One cannot really complain, Chennai(tamilnadu on the whole) in the name of being conservative installs sexism in everybody. Men, Women and transgenders too.
We make girls and boys not talk in schools/college’s and dismiss them if they break those so called disciplinary rules. Now what do you expect? The women think they are too precious to be treated like even for somebody to occupy the space near them. The men are totally starved and just cant wait to grab a woman’s arse at the first meek sight of opportunity.